As an ezer wife, I find it my duty to give my husband what he needs. On this day, two years after I married the man of dreams, I still don’t know what his needs are. Just when I think I’ve got him figured out, he tells me differently. Can you relate?
This is normal.
God created man and woman so differently for a reason. I could not imagine what it would be like to have a husband that wanted me to kiss him all the time, cuddle every second we’re together, and to tell him how handsome he is 20 times a day. We already have one person in the house that needs that, could you imagine two?! Me neither.
Above all else, even more important than any job I will ever have or the love and patience I will be required to show my children, I must love and honor my husband. That’s a requirement of a godly marriage.
I fail at this job when I try to do it alone, like I told you, I can never figure him out. So I turn to my life textbook, the Bible. There are many verses on what it takes to become a godly wife. Learn these with me and keep them on your heart.
My husband gave me the best compliment last month, and I don’t even think he realized how much it meant. As I was kneading some bread dough, he said, “Sweetheart, have you ever read Proverbs 31?” Of course I had. As he’s casually walking away he replies, “Well, I think you’re that wife.” It brought tears to my eyes. In my husband’s mind I am the woman who brings joy to her household. I am a hard worker and give to those in need. What a compliment.
If you’re married or plan to be one day, I highly encourage that you take some time to study Proverb 31. Here are a few virtues that make us godly and honorable wives.
5 Tips on Becoming a Godly Wife
A virtuous wife is hard to come by.
As we see in verse 10, finding a wife of virtue is something a man could spend his life trying to find. When he finds her though, she will be more precious to him than any worldly riches.
Are you a woman or wife worth searching out and waiting for? Is your husband proud for having chosen you?
She enriches her husbands life.
To get a better understanding, what’s the opposite of enrich? Take, deplete, reduce. We must build our husbands up with our words and our actions. If you see his energy and joy as a funnel, we can either suck it all out of him by requiring too much of him or breaking him down with our harsh words, or we can fill him up with our support and words of encouragement.
Do you bring meaning to his life? Do you add something to your marriage that only you, no one else, could add?
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.
I know you’ve heard it before, but taking care of ourselves is vital to our marriage. We need rest. We need to fuel our bodies with nourishing foods that will get us through the day. Sometimes we can’t take the easy road, working hard for something builds character within us, and it strengthens our marriage.
Are you full of energy for your man? Is your body strong and able to endure life’s challenges? Do you spend your days working hard and making a difference?
She dresses in fine linens.
My husband has told me a handful of times that it makes him happy to come home to wife in something other than her sweats. I get it, trust me, I don’t even have kids. When we’re home all day working, why should we change into something nice? Well because God tells us to. You will feel better too. You might be surprised how much more you get done when you dress for the day.
Are you looking (and thus feeling) good for your husband? Would he be proud to take out and show you off in what you’re wearing now (I can’t say yes to this one right now!)?
She laughs without fear of the future.
As a military spouse, this instruction is hard to follow. My relationship with God has certainly changed my outlook on the future, I have hope. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t have some fear of the future. I do not look forward to the day my husband comes home and tells me he’s leaving for X number of months to fight a war. Philippians 4:6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Everything. There is nothing we cannot handle without the help of our God. The phrase, do not be afraid, occurs more than any other in the Bible. I think He’s serious.
Are you able to enjoy today with your husband without worrying about later? Do you have fun with him even if you’re in the middle of a storm?
Do I fail at these sometimes? Yes, quite often actually. Will you fail at these? Sure. We are but human, born sinners. When we seek the Lord’s guidance and wisdom though, nothing is impossible. If you recognize something in yourself that you wish to change, pray about it. Ask God for his help, and he will give it to you.
When we strive to become the wife depicted in Proverbs 31, our husbands will notice. Trust me, they will!
Do you pray specifically for anything in Proverbs 31? What virtue do you already possess that’s described in this chapter?